Thursday, July 30, 2009

Move Over Stephen King...

I have a new enemy.

Forget bookselling, and reading. Forget crafting and the mittens. And definitely forget law school. Killers albums will go unheard, James Mcavoy movies unwatched, and I never will find out what happens to that ragtag band of humans on Battlestar Galactica. Buy as many Kindles as you want, put every bookstore out of business; that's someone else's battle. I'm packing up my things, buying an uzi and going on the hunt for douchebag.

I clench my fist in anger! Two years of my life for this country...and what have you done Glenn Beck? You fat fuck.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Things That Are Worse Than Amateur Poetry Slams

New hire training/sexual harassment videos
Tori Spelling

Take That Amazon!

The other day I got a call at work. It was a gentleman inquiring about a call he had received from us about a special order. I looked up his info and told him that yes, indeed we had received his special order. He let out a long sigh, and I braced myself for anger, wondering what could possibly be wrong, we had his order and rather promptly at that.

He tells me that when we ordered the book we weren't sure when it would come in and that it might take as long as six weeks. He said go ahead, order it and he would try to find it elsewhere in the meantime.

Well turns out the book shows up two days later, we call him and he calls me. He's already found that big bookstore in his computer. I say, "It's no problem, it's our fault and you're not obligated to buy it." And he says, "You don't understand, bookstores are DYING. I'll be in tonight to pick it up."

Swoon. What a lovely, lovely man.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Things That Are Surprisingly Forceful When Formed in a Group

Lima Beans
Straw (particularly the last)

A (mostly) True Life One Act Play

A workplace environment, two co-workers are talking...

A: Is that a mosquito bite on your cheek?
E: What?
A: That.
E: No it's a zit.
A: *voluminous and violent fake vomiting ensues*
E: *silent pause*
A: What would you do if I really did that?
E: What, vomited when I told you it's a zit?
A: Yeah.
E: I'd punch you in the head and then shove your face in your vomit so you'd drown in a pool of your own sick.
A: Seems fair.

fade to black.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Sometimes, when you're playing devil's advocate, you're just being a douche bag.

My Excuse

So I haven't written much lately...nothing at all really. Here's the reason...How can you expect me to focus on writing when this beautiful being lives inside my computer in the form of Battlestar Galactica season 2 data files. Alas. On the bright side I have learned something very important about the future from my recent bout of nerdom...we may be overrun by terrifying, killer robots, but at least what's left of the human race is hot.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

BSG Blackhole

So sorry to be so remiss in my blogging, but really I have more important things to do. Like watching Battlestar Galactica!
And the odds are pretty favorable that if Sarah Vowell can ruin the ending to The Great Gatsby and a stupid book about cats can ruin the end to Alien, then some sort of internet surfing or blog comment will ruin the end to Battlestar.
But fear not faithful followers, I'm nearly finished with season 1 and it looks to be a long, dry spell before the library gets me season 2.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

What's Happening To Me?

I shouldn't be blue, but I am blue. Why am I blue! Tell me why!!!! I hate being blue. blah.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Your Latest Killers Fix

I have to say, if I were the other Killers I would be totally pissed. You all know how much I LOOOOVE Brandon Flowers, but come on! He's not the only one making the music (as this video, and frankly all the others, would have you assume).'s the link to what I think may be the best track off the Day and Age album. Enjoy!

I've Got Migaloo Fever, Baby!

Why on Earth you would name an all white whale Migaloo and not Moby is beyond me. But, nevertheless, this albino, Humpback whale has stolen my heart. He's so cute! Makes me want to watch Star Trek IV all over again. Here's some info on Migaloo, once at the page, scroll down to famous humpbacks, Migaloo is numero uno!


I wish you all could see how adorable Opal is. It's truly freakish.