Sunday, February 22, 2009

My Current Evil Plan

I hate public displays of affection. I'm not talking holding hands, a little kiss or even a little cuddling. I'm talking, tongue down throat, legs wrapped around waist, get a room, public displays of affection. There is a couple that waits at my bus stop. Every Saturday morning it's the same thing. Groping and all manner of disgustingness. And I feel embarrassed because I have to look away. The only thing worse are the customers who come up to the cash registers and can't keep their hands off each other. I have nowhere else to look, they're right in front of me. I have always been squeamish about PDAs; felt like a creepy voyeur, embarrassed and apologetic. Well, no more! If you can't keep your bedroom stuff out of my public space, tough! I am going to stare. That's right, STARE! That's what you want, right? I already feel creepy for being subjected to your PDA, now you can feel unsettled by the creepy person watching you. And if you say, "Stop staring!" I will say, "Stop making out in front of me." And if you say, "Take a picture!" I will say, "Get a room." With any luck I will drive the PDAers from my life altogether! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!