Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Why Cats are not Conducive to Being Sick

A chronological time line...

7:00PM: Stumble into apartment after a 2 hour, nausea-inducing, bus ride home from work. Cats are excited, won't get out of the way, incessant meowing hurting already hurting head.

7:05PM: Still meowing, running around like crazy, are obviously excited to see me home so early, trip me as I try to get into pajamas. (and when I say meowing, there is little I can do to describe the piercing, whining quality of said meows)

7:08PM: Meowing, cats not understanding why I am in bed so early, chasing each other on and off the bed, running over me.

7:15PM: Opal playing with ball, bringing onto bed and dropping it on my back. Not deterred by my lack of movement, she begins swatting and batting it around my feet.

9:05PM: Woken from fitful sleep sweating, blankets thrown off but Brody laying right against me inducing much sweating. Balks at me pushing him away. Meowing.

11:46PM: Woken again, this time freezing, cannot disentangle cats from previously discarded blankets. Give up, pass out.

12:14AM: Woken from feverish dream about polishing silver to horrendous crashing sound. Wonder at first if I dreamed it, or am hallucinating. Investigate living room, certain that snow globe cabinet has fallen off wall, severing a cat in half. No such luck, cabinet firmly affixed to wall. Later determine crashing sound was Opal falling off kitchen window into dish rack.

1:05AM: Give up on sleeping, try to read, but thwarted by various cats perching on my chest blocking my view of the book.

2:15AM: Meowing. Cats are hungry, Brody demanding bathroom faucet to be turned on.

3:30AM: Half-way through watching the Office on computer, Brody steps on the keyboard somehow freezing the computer.

3:35AM: Weeping.

7:45AM: Cats chasing around apartment, fighting, hissing, and screaming.

8:30AM: Must use bathroom IMMEDIATELY. Brody running around my feet, jumps on toilet seat costing me priceless seconds.

3:45PM: Trying to read again. Thwarted again.

6:00PM: Cats are quiet. Sleeping curled into little balls on the bed, and looking at me with contempt when I move or disturb them.